Our Rendezvous on the 15th

It started with a few blank sheets of paper, wrote seven pages to be exact, time tore the pages, and all that is left are memories of that beautiful night we will never forget. The night of August 15, 2018

A massive crowd surrounds us, the Sunday Night breeze appears fresh in my crust, but still, I found my heaven in your arms. Lights are everywhere. The clatter hurts the murmurs and the loud stereo meters away from us. While others enjoyed dancing to their content, we rekindled the night stabilizing ourselves in the seesaw. Abruptly, the loud stereo altered into our laughter. Though blinded and deafened by the scenery, intensity, and the flash of the lights, I still saw your smile, heard your laugh, caught glimpses of you. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wished that night could stay the same way, so I never have to miss that moment, never have to miss how you made me feel.

 We went home with our hearts full. I gave you a bottle of rum, its fiesta, the hell with my disgust. You took a shot at that rum, and I let you, you took another and another and another. You got drunk and started dancing with weird moves while I sat there laughing at you. You know how much I despise you for drinking beer, but from that moment on, despite the smell of the rum every time you come closer, I found myself falling in love with you even more. You started talking things about you, about me, about us. You told me about your dreams and your regrets for not doing the things you should have done. You talked a lot about your family, how much they mean to you, and how hard it was to be like you. You have your failures and your gratitude for having them. You will not be as strong as you are right now without having to fight all your demons. I knew you were strong and able. For years I have dug deeper to who you are and what you do, you shared even the tiniest details of what life is for you, but as I stare at you that night, as I saw that look upon your face, that night was different. That night was history.

Then there goes my favorite part. You looked back on how we met and how your life changed ever since. You told me how you envision life without me. You said you saw yourself living in such a lonely life. But there is no need for you to say it because it shows every time. Your actions have spoken to me a thousand times. I feel it, the need, the care, the love, and the peace inside your heart whenever I am around. Then on the verge of our moment, you asked me why I stayed when I have enough reasons to leave. It seemed as if I saw our past in front of my eyes, flashback starts, and I tried my best to hold back the tears from falling. I found it hard to find the exact words to describe how our Long-Distance Relationship was. I recalled having to eat and go home alone because you are not around, and to cry myself to sleep because I long to see you in the flesh and to miss all the laughter we have shared. Thank God it was nighttime, at least the shadows of the dark hid the tears from my eyes, for a brief moment there, I was frozen, then finally found the will to express the reasons why. I told you how it feels like to be without you, how it hurts to think you were with somebody else. You know that I am territorial. You know what’s mine is mine. You know what turns me on, what turns me off. You know how to make me laugh and how to make me cry. But in everything that you know about me, you still do not know how much you mean to me. I don’t always show you. I don’t always say. Maybe I acted like I can bear losing you, but you weren’t able to swim in the deepest part of the ocean, you were just on the shore of knowing how I feel about you, and that is an adequate reason for me to stay.

I asked you the same question. Why would you have to suffer with me, to struggle with my insensitivity when in fact, you can have any girl you want. You never have to beg. You can sit around and watch as girls throw themselves at you. You said I was different. You said there is something right and unpleasant in me that kept you craving for more, an uncontrollable storm, like a drug, like how you cannot stop the sun from rising. I believed you because that is how you made me feel. Some things are just visible to our eyes. It should be the way they should be. We ended the night with a very long and intimate embrace as we part ways for our sleep. The night was peaceful while I watched you. For once in my life, I knew who I want to be with for the rest of my life. I want to hold you every second of the day and make you feel how thankful I am to have someone like you.

LIFE HAS A WAY OF MAKING US STRONG and My Love, I do not know what lies ahead of us, the years are endless, but one thing is for sure.

I can not love you more than I love you now.